How to Begin Planning a Funeral
Planning a funeral can feel overwhelming, especially if you have little experience with the process. Taking a few simple steps at the beginning can help you stay focused, understand your options, and avoid unnecessary expenses.
Unless cost is not an issue, a good place to start is by deciding how much you can afford to spend. If you go into a meeting with a funeral director without a budget or a sense of the available options, it’s easy to end up agreeing to services and products that cost far more than expected.
Most funeral directors sincerely want to help families create a meaningful farewell. At the same time, funeral homes are businesses that sell goods and services. Having a budget in mind can help you make decisions that reflect both your wishes and your financial limits.
The Main Steps in Funeral Planning
While every situation is different, most families will move through these basic steps:
- Set a budget. Decide roughly how much you can afford or want to spend.
- Learn about your options. Consider the different ways a body can be cared for after death, and determine what fits your values, preferences, and budget.
- Decide what type of services you want. This might include a viewing, funeral service, memorial gathering, or no formal service at all.
- Compare funeral homes or service providers. Prices and services can vary widely.
- Meet with the funeral director and make arrangements. Bring questions, review prices carefully, and take time to understand what you are agreeing to.
Understanding Your Disposition Options
Once you have a budget in mind, it helps to learn about the options available. Cost is often an important factor, but people may also consider environmental impact, cultural or religious traditions, and whether they want a permanent resting place.
Traditional burial is usually the most expensive option. Costs may include embalming, a casket, a burial vault or grave liner, a cemetery plot, and grave opening and closing.
Flame cremation is often much less expensive. In some areas, direct cremation (cremation without a viewing or formal service through a funeral home) can cost around $1,000. Our price survey lists some examples in our region.
Green burial, alkaline hydrolysis, and natural organic reduction are newer options with lower environmental impacts. These methods generally cost more than flame cremation but less than traditional burial.
- Green burial avoids embalming, metal caskets, and burial vaults. However, cemetery plot costs and grave opening and closing fees may be similar to those for traditional burial.
- Natural organic reduction (sometimes called human composting) is less expensive than burial because it does not involve paying for a cemetery plot, burial container or vault, the cost of opening and closing the grave, or embalming.
- Alkaline hydrolysis (sometimes called water cremation) typically costs more than flame cremation but less than traditional burial.
Another option is donating the body to medical science, which often involves little or no cost to the family. However, this option can be difficult to arrange after a death if it was not planned in advance.
Comparing Funeral Homes
If you are planning after a death has occurred, you may need to choose a funeral home fairly quickly.
Our price survey of funeral establishments in Maryland, Delaware, and the District of Columbia can help you identify providers in your area and compare costs. The most recent survey was completed in 2023, so the prices listed may have changed. However, it can still provide a helpful starting point.
You can also call funeral homes directly for current prices. Under federal law, funeral homes must give price information over the phone if you ask.
Cost is not the only factor to consider. If you want and can afford services such as viewings before the funeral, catering, parking for many cars, or the use of a chapel for services, it may be worth it to you to pay for the services of a funeral establishment that has beautiful and spacious facilities. If you don’t need those services, you may prefer a simpler establishment with lower overhead.
Consider calling two or three funeral homes before you decide. Notice how they treat you on the phone when you ask basic questions about services and prices. You can also check their website to see whether they post their General Price List (GPL). Transparency about pricing is usually a good sign.
Preparing For a Meeting with the Funeral Director
Once the body has been transported to the funeral home, you should have some time to think through your choices before making final arrangements. Bodies can be refrigerated for several days without embalming, so not every decision must be made immediately.
Before meeting with a funeral director, it is helpful to review your legal rights as a consumer. You may also want to bring a trusted friend or family member to the meeting. Someone who is less emotionally involved can help ask questions, listen carefully, and support you in making thoughtful decisions.
Planning a funeral is never easy, but having basic information and taking time to consider your options can help you make choices that feel right for you and your family.
A Funeral Shouldn’t Create a Financial Burden
It’s worth remembering one more point about funeral costs. Josh Slocum, former Executive Director of the national Funeral Consumers Alliance, offered this perspective:
“The most important thing to remember is that a meaningful, heartfelt memorial doesn’t need to cost more than your family can afford. Whether you spend $600 or $10,000, you’ll love and miss the deceased just as much. It’s the coming together of family and friends to laugh, cry, and love each other that makes a funeral meaningful, not the amount of money it costs.
And this is crucial: there is no charity or government organization that will pay off any debt you’ve accrued if you arrange a funeral that’s beyond your means. It’s your family’s responsibility to spend within its budget. Funeral homes are not required to let you pay in installments; many these days are asking for payment upfront. While this might seem frustrating, it’s a responsible business practice and it prevents many grieving people from falling into a financial trap when they’re not thinking clearly. Sweating the monthly bills six months after the death because the funeral payments are high does not, I assure you, help lift the burden of grief.”